When they took a young man into Tellson's London house
But indeed, at that time, putting to death
was a recipe much in vogue with all trades and professions, and not least of
all with Tellson's. Death is Nature's remedy for all things, and why not
Legislation's? Accordingly, the forger was put to death; the utterer of a bad
note was put to Death; the unlawful opener of a letter was put to Death; the
purloiner of forty shillings and sixpence was put to Death; the holder of a
horse at Tellson's door, who made off with it, was put to Death; the coiner of
a bad shilling was put to Death; the sounders of three-fourths of the notes in
the whole gamut of Grime, were put to Death. Not that it did the least good in
the way of prevention--it might almost have been worth remarking that the fact
was exactly the reverse--but, it cleared off (as to this world) the trouble of
each particular case, and left nothing else connected with it to be looked
after. Thus, Tellson's, in its day, like greater places of business, its
contemporaries, had taken so many lives, that, if the heads laid low before it
had been ranged on Temple Bar instead of being privately disposed of' they
would probably have excluded what little light the ground floor had, in a
rather significant manner.
Cramped in all kinds of dim cupboards and
hutches at Tellson's, the oldest of men carried on the business gravely.
When they took a young man into Tellson's London house, they hid
him somewhere till he was old. They kept him in a dark place, like a cheese,
until he had the full Tellson flavour and blue-mould upon him. Then only was he
permitted to be seen, spectacularly poring over large books, and casting his
breeches and gaiters into the general weight of the establishment.
Outside Tellson's--never by any means in
it, unless called in--was an odd-job-man, an occasional porter and messenger, who
served as the live sign of the house. He was never absent during business
hours, unless upon an errand, and then he was represented by his son: a grisly
urchin of twelve, who was his express image. People understood that Tellson's,
in a stately way, tolerated the odd-job-man. The house had always tolerated
some person in that capacity, and time and tide had drifted this person to the
post. His surname was Cruncher, and on the youthful occasion of his renouncing
by proxy the works of darkness, in the easterly parish church of Houndsditch ,
he had received the added appellation of Jerry.
The scene was Mr. Cruncher's private
lodging in Hanging-sword-alley, Whitefriars: the time, half-past seven of the
clock on a windy March morning, Anno Domini seventeen hundred and eighty. (Mr.
Cruncher himself always spoke of the year of our Lord as Anna Dominoes:
apparently under the impression that the Christian era dated from the invention
of a popular game, by a lady who had bestowed her name upon it.)

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